Holiday Try Not To’s:

This post will not be titled, “holiday don’ts”. When we tell ourselves NOT to do something that we have always done, sometimes it creates additional pressure and disappointment when we fail to achieve change. We want to, instead, have a perspective of reducing the choices that are not serving us and diminishing the patterns that…

Holiday Do’s:

Family interactions can be difficult as they often bring up feelings that are deep and hibernating. It is important to plan for this and strategize, because if left to its own devices, our brains prefer familiarity rather than change and we can readily slip into old patterns. To prevent this automatic regression, we have to…

Exhaling

When I am instructing breath work, there is a phrase I often use on the exhale, “and on your next exhale, letting go of anything that is not serving you.” The exhale is a metaphor for releasing and surrendering the experiences and feelings that we no longer need. The planning we need to do is…

Inhaling

We know that the practice of breathing can calm, invigorate, soothe, and ground us. Breathing is a tool. It is also a metaphor. Inhaling is a process by which we bring life force into our being. Although this process is an automatic response that our physiology continues to take care of for us, nourishing ourselves…

Dealing with Disappointment

We just can’t always get what we want. That is a natural occurrence of being human, and for some of us that is the majority of our life and for others the minority of our life. For most of us, we are somewhere in between, where we sometimes achieve or receive what we want, and…

Finding A Trusted Person

Trust is something that another person earns by caring for us in the hardest moments. The hardest part is that each of us have to create these relationships by working furiously hard at trusting ourselves first. Everyone needs a team.

Emotion Regulation

The second most challenging aspect of feeling and emotion as a human, after identification, is the art and craft of regulating our emotions as individuals, families, and systems. I tell my clients that this is an art because it takes a lifetime of effort and work to master the craft for ourselves, our family and…

Emotion Identification

Have you reached a point where you feel flooded and overwhelmed by emotion? Whether that be sadness (depression), worry (anxiety), or fatigue (hyper vigilance or obsessiveness). There is a wide range of feelings that someone could be experiencing at any one point in time and part of the work in recovery, coaching, and therapy is…

The Biggest actions

The “best next step” for creating a life you love, may not be to change huge parts and pieces of the life you have. These huge parts and pieces of unhappiness may be the easiest to feel and see, but they are not always the most achievable way of making lifestyle change.

The Smallest Actions

Our society has created a narrative that in order to feel well, we need to change enormous aspects of oneself. My individual clients feel this pressure when they first come to me, stating they need to make enormous lifestyle alterations (find a different job, a different relationship, lose a lot of weight, and become more…

The Playlist Of Our Life

Music for many of us is a way to regulate our feelings, connect with others, return to center, celebrate, move, and express ourselves. Music can be used as a preventative measure to diminish the stressors coming toward us and can also be an intervention tool to apply when we are feeling uncomfortable.

Energy

Energy is everything when we are attempting to create a life we love. Energy is our opportunity to ensure we are not consumed by stress and tension, as fatigue is actually the indicator of depletion, not the quality/quantity of stressful life events.

Savor The Moment

In June, ReallyBeU is working on helping clients better understand the power of joy and pleasure in building resiliency as individuals, families and organizations. Joy and pleasure often feel challenging to experience and create when we are in survival mode, grinding daily.  “Survival Mode” is the experience that many of us and our clients are…

Uniquely Ourselves

Joy and pleasure treat malaise and languish, which are elements of depression and disengagement from life. Often times adding joy and pleasure back into life is the way to hope and healing. However, very often, when we arrive at this point in the conversation, my clients say to me, “Yes, but, I don’t know how…

Everyone Needs A Rhythm

In the midst of giving a talk on Resiliency this past week to a group of leaders in Healthcare, one of them sheepishly raised her hand and said to me, “Yeah, but obviously you have this all figured out so you don’t have to use all of these coping strategies, right?”

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